she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
