I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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