my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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