you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
