similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
