Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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