The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
