My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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