We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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