This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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