That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
