dude i'm inner monologue high
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
