i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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