You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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