I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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