I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
