we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
