I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
