How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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