Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
