Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
