im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
