We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
