Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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