fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
