I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
