The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize