Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
