Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
