4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Nicole vs. Life
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
