They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize