if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
