i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
