Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
All the doctor said was why
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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