I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
