Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
