my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
