that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
