okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
