Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
