Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
