I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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