Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
