We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
