plz talk dirty to me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
