Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
