so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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