last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
