Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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