is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
