You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
