the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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