Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
