Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
