I wannas sexs uuuuu
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
