Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
