You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
