Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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