Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
All the doctor said was why
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
