Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
