I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
