My liver just broke up with me...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
