Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
