I think my vagina is haunted
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
