So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
