i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
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