Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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