I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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