Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
