The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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