South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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